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PW #352: Young Adult Nigerian Fantasy (Ownvoices): BLOOD SCION

Thursday, 2 November 2017  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Manuscript Status: 2 weeks delivery

Mentors Names: Claribel Ortega and Kat Cho

Mentee Name: Deborah Falaye

Title: BLOOD SCION

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Nigerian Fantasy (Ownvoices)

Word Count: 110,000

Pitch:

Scion. Descendant of the ancient Orisha gods.
Scion. Hunted for over three centuries.
Scion. What Sloane is.

To uncover what really happened the night Momma disappeared, Sloane becomes a child soldier in the queen’s army.

She’ll do anything to learn the truth.

Even if it means hiding her identity from soldiers trained to kill people like her.
Even if it means becoming the monster the military wants.

West-African inspired EMBER IN THE ASHES meets #ChildrenNotSoldiers movement.

Excerpt:

Another night, another dead body that isn’t Momma.

I stop digging and stare at the woman crumpled in the hole. Small, pale, and fragile-looking, a porcelain doll even in death. She hasn’t been dead long. A few hours perhaps, a day at most. The bullet hole in her forehead still shines with blood, dried crimson against a purple-tinged face.

I mumble a quick prayer to Olodumarè as I take in the rest of her innocent features. The Nightwalkers must have gotten to her, just like they did Momma. Despite what villagers whisper about her and Felipe, I know those skull-faced monsters had something to do with their disappearance too. And I’m going to prove it.

I stab the ground with my shovel. Beads of sweat trickle down my face, widening the wet patch on my shirt. After hours of shoveling, the Agbaja foothills have become a labyrinth of skulls and bones, some old enough to crunch, others crawling with maggots and rot.

It takes three bleeding hours to dig through the hard-packed earth, only to find the next hole empty. With a grunt, I toss the shovel, letting it clatter against the mound of dirt gathered to my right.

There, beneath the rubble of turned soil and uprooted moss, a bud of fabric blooms, petals of golden thread winking in the night.

“Gods above.”

 

Filed: PW Entries

36 Comments
  • beth phelan says:

    Yup. Hey. Hi. Hello. Yes. Okay. Can you please email your query, plus the full manuscript as a Word doc attachment, to phelanqueries@thebentagency.com, with “Pitch Wars request” in the subject line? I’m closed to queries except requested submissions, so don’t mind the automated response.

    Beth Phelan
    The Bent Agency

  • Jim McCarthy says:

    I’d loved to have a look! Please send the full manuscript to jmccarthy@dystel.com. A Word attachment is most preferable if possible. Best,
    Jim

  • Hi Deborah!

    I LOVE THIS! Can you please send me your query, synopsis, and full manuscript? If you go to http://queryme.online/kellypeterson/pitchwars it should take you to a form you can fill out and paste in your information, and the bottom should allow you to attach your full.

    I can’t wait to read it =)

    Warm Regards,

    Kelly Peterson
    Jr. Literary Agent
    Corvisiero Literary Agency

  • Katelyn Detweiler says:

    Hello!

    This sounds seriously amazing and I would love to have a look! Could you please send the full manuscript to me at katelyn@jillgrinbergliterary.com?

    All the best,
    Katelyn

  • Wow, this is right up my alley. Please send your query in the body of an email, along with the full manuscript and a synopsis (both attached). Please also include a link to this entry. You can send your materials to lauren@triadaus.com. I look forward to reading!

    ~Lauren

  • Heather Flaherty says:

    Hey Deborah… and, yeah… sounds freekin’ awesome. Would love to see more!

    Please send:
    – Query + 10 pages pasted in the body of the email
    – Attach FULL ms as well!
    – with subject line: PW YA + Title

    to:  flahertyqueries@thebentagency.com

    Thank you so much!

    Heather Flaherty (The Bent Agency)

  • Hi Deborah,

    I would love to read more!

    Please send your query, 1-2 page synopsis, and first 100 pages (in an attached word doc.) to queries at azantianlitagency dot com with “PitchWars: TITLE by Name” in the subject line. Thanks!

    I look forward to reading on!

    Jennifer Azantian
    Azantian Literary Agency

  • Ammi-Joan Paquette says:

    This sounds terrific! Please send along your query + first 3 chapters to me at joan at emliterary.com – look forward to reading 🙂

  • Rena Rossner says:

    I would absolutely love to read this! Please send the full manuscript attached as a word document to: rena@thedeborahharrisagency.com

    I will just bite my fingernails until then!

    – Rena

  • Caitie Flum says:

    This looks great! It I’d love to take a look.

    Please send the query in the body of the email + full manuscript as a Word attachment to querycaitie@lizadawson.com with “Pitch Wars request” in the subject.

  • Melissa Edwards says:

    I’d love to take a look! Please email the first 50 pp. as a .doc to medwards@stonesong.com. Thank you!

  • Aimee Ashcraft says:

    Really enjoyed this pitch and would love to read more. Could you send the full manuscript in Word format to aimee@browerliterary.com, with #pitchwars in the subject line? Thanks so much!

  • Jenny Bent says:

    Please email query and full ms (as an attachment) to info@thebentagency.com, PITCHWARS in subject line. Thanks!

  • Peter Knapp says:

    I’d love to read this! Please send the full manuscript as a Word doc to queries@parkliterary.com with the query pasted into the first page of the doc. If available, please also attach a one (or so) page synopsis. Put “PITCH WARS REQUEST – PETE KNAPP” in the subject. Thank you!

  • Alice Sutherland-Hawes says:

    I’m super keen to read more of this. Do send to me at submissions@madeleinemilburn.com for the attention of Alice.

    All my best

    Alice

  • This sounds so amazing! I love the voice — I would love to read the full ms! Please send the full manuscript to suzie@newleafliterary.com attached as a Word document with the query in the first page of the document. Put “PITCH WARS” in the subject. Please also include a dreaded synopsis if you have one. Thank you! Can’t wait to read!

  • Hillary Jacobson says:

    This sounds amazing and I would LOVE to read more! Please send the full manuscript as a word document to hjacobson@icmpartners.com. Thank you!!

  • Penelope Burns says:

    Hi Deborah,

    I would love to see this! Can you send the full to penelope@gelfmanschneider.com, with your query in the body of the email and #PitchWars and title in the subject line? Thanks so much!

    Penelope

  • Jennifer Kim says:

    Wow, this is awesome Deborah. Would love to read the entire thing! Would you send the full manuscript to jennifer@dijkstraagency.com as a Word document? Please do mention “PITCH WARS” in the subject line.

    So looking forward to reading!

    Jennifer
    Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency

  • Those opening lines are *chilling*! I must read more! Please email the full manuscript, along with your query letter and a synopsis (if you have one) to bsherman@janklow.com, with the subject line “Pitch Wars: BLOOD SCION.” Excited to keep reading!

    Best,
    Brooks Sherman
    Janklow & Nesbit Associates

  • Goldblatt Barry says:

    I may be last in line here, but no less enthusiastic! Please send your query and the full manuscript to me at Barry at bgliterary dot com.

    Barry Goldblatt
    Barry Goldblatt Literary

  • Thao Le says:

    Really emotional writing. Please send a query letter, bio, and first 15 pages to thao@dijkstraagency.com using subject line: Pitch Wars Req – BLOOD SCION

  • Quressa Robinson says:

    Deborah! I just died, was revived by the thought of reading your manuscript, and then died again! I’m cryin. This has been at the top of my MSWL my whole damn life. I needs it! I may not be the only agent here at Nelson Literary Agency who wants to read your amazing work! So, please send just one email to query@nelsonagency.com with PITCH WARS UPLOAD in the subject line. We will reply with our upload instructions, and then all the interested NLA agents will read and consider your manuscript. Thank you!”

  • I would love to read your manuscript! Please send as a Word Document to queries@ldlainc.com, along with your query letter. And include Pitch Wars in the subject line. Thanks!

  • Danielle Burby says:

    I love everything about this and I am completely dying to read it!!! I know I’m not the only agent here at Nelson Literary Agency who is excited to read this one so please send just one email to query@nelsonagency.com with PITCH WARS UPLOAD in the subject line. We will reply with our upload instructions, and then all the interested NLA agents will read and consider your manuscript. Thank you!

  • Hi Deborah,

    This sounds fantastic and the sample absolutely killed me–all this to say, I would LOVE to take a look! Please could you send the full manuscript attached in a word document? I would really appreciate it if you would label your query REQUESTED: Pitch Wars and label the document with your last name and the title.

    Thank you so much! I can’t wait to dive in!

    Warmly,
    Bri

    Brianne Johnson
    Writers House

  • Natascha Morris says:

    That sample! What to even say other than please send me the full at QueryMe.online/1067/PitchWars2017. Thank you!

    Best,
    Natascha Morris

  • Josh Adams says:

    Sounds terrific! I’d love to read more. Please send the full manuscript, along with your query, to josh@adamsliterary.com under the subject line: Pitch Wars / Blood Scion. Thanks!

  • I’d love to see more! Can you please send your first 50 pages to querylindsay@emeraldcityliterary.com. Please include your query in your email and Pitch Wars in the subject line.

    Thanks,
    Lindsay

  • Hi Deborah,
    Your writing is melodic and vivid. It captured my attention and I would like to read more. Add Pitch Wars in the subject line and the synopsis in the body of the email. Please send three chapters as an attachment to ellamarie@belcastroagency.com. Thanks.
    Ella Marie Shupe
    Belcastro Agency

  • Blair Wilson says:

    Hi Deborah,

    This sounds incredible–I’d love to read! Please send the full manuscript as a Word doc with the query pasted into the first page of the document to queries@parkliterary.com with “BLAIR WILSON – PITCH WARS REQUEST” in the subject. Thanks so much–looking forward to reading!

  • Sarah Davies says:

    Yes please, I’d love to read this! Please send me the query with full manuscript (Word doc) at submissions@greenhouseliterary.com, with PitchWars/Sarah Davies in the email title line. Thanks!
    Sarah

  • Pam Victorio says:

    I love this! Please send a ‘query’ through my Query Manager and I’ll request the full through the system. http://QueryMe.Online/QueryPam

  • Roseanne Wells says:

    Creeptastic. I’d love to read more! Please use the guidelines on jdlit.com to send 100pp (instead of the normal 20), and include #Pitchwars in the subject line. I can’t wait to dive in!

    Roseanne Wells
    The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency

  • This sounds fantastic! I would love to read. Please send the full manuscript to nicole@theseymouragency.com and cc: lynnette@theseymouragency.com.

    Nicole Resciniti
    The Seymour Agency

  • Christa Heschke says:

    I need to read this! Wow! Please send a query and full manuscript to chquery@mcintoshandotis.com. Look forward to reading!
    -Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

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