Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

PW #351: Young Adult Contemporary Suspense: CHASING JOHN SMITH

Thursday, 2 November 2017  |  Posted by Brenda

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Judi Lauren

Mentee Name: Danielle Thurby

Title: CHASING JOHN SMITH

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Contemporary Suspense

Word Count: 90,000

Pitch:

For years, brothers Cole and Jack, under orders from their obsessed father, have had one purpose: catch their mother’s murderer. Molded into warriors and forbidden to have personal relationships, the boys are strangers to normal—something Cole, a defiant son but loyal big brother, wants desperately to change. And Jack, always an obedient soldier, starts thinking for himself for the first time when he experiences feelings for a cute boy at school. But as they struggle with trading their fake identities for their true selves, the brothers fear that in their hunt to catch a killer, they could lose their lives, or worse, each other. Told through dual POV, it’s Supernatural meets I Hunt Killers.

Excerpt:

Cole

“You are no longer Jared Turner. Your name is Cole Matheson.”

If I jumped out of the car now, I could avoid Dad’s bullshit identity exercise. But if I’m gonna bail, it’s not going to be on this endless stretch of mono filter land that someone had balls enough to declare a state.

Say it,” he warns.

“I know my new name.” I glance up long enough to catch Dad’s dark eyes giving me the I-just-gave-you-an-order look, that somehow still works on my brother. Dad shifts his gaze to him instead.

“You say it.”

Immediately, he sits up and recites, “I am no longer Dylan Turner. My name is Jack Matheson.”

Dad claps him on the shoulder. “Good. Again.”

He says it a little louder each time, more determination in his voice. “My name is Jack Matheson. My brother is Cole. Our mother was Lucy. She died in a car accident when we were kids.”

“Because that’s original,” I mutter.

Dad’s voice rises. “It isn’t about originality, it’s about believability. Anonymity.”

“I know,” I say. “It sure as hell isn’t about the truth.”

 

Filed: PW Entries

3 Comments
Leave a reply

Disclaimer:

We’d love your comments but ask that you please keep it polite. Although your views are definitely your own, we do not condone harassment or bullying and don’t want to see it here. We reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason, including being abusive, profane or off topic.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Please read our Privacy Policy before singing up.