Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

PW #224: YA Fantasy: ASKARI

Monday, 2 November 2015  |  Posted by Brenda

 Pitchwars Badge (Square YA)

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Names: Renée Ahdieh & Traci Chee
Mentee Name: Kristen Ciccarelli
Title: ASKARI
Category: Young Adult
Genre: Fantasy
Word Count: 96,000

Pitch:

Asha must hunt a deadly dragon and bring her father its head, or be forced into a political marriage. In the vein of GRACELING and THE WINNER’S CURSE.

Excerpt:

Asha lured the dragon with a story.

It was an ancient story, older than the mountains at her back. Asha had to dredge it up from where it lay deep and dormant inside her.

She hated to do it. Telling such stories was forbidden, not to mention deadly. But after stalking this dragon through the rocky lowlands for ten days now, her hunting slaves were out of food. She had a choice: return to the medina dragon-less, or break her father’s ban on the old stories.

Asha never returned to the medina without a kill and she wasn’t about to now. She was the Askari, after all, and there were quotas to fill.

So she told the story.

In secret.

While her hunters thought she was sharpening her axe.

The dragon came, slithering out of the sand like the treacherous thing it was. Red-gold particles cascaded down its body, shimmering like water and revealing dull scales the color of mountain rock.

At three times the size of a horse, it loomed over Asha, thrashing a forked tail while its slitted gaze fixed on the girl who summoned it. The girl who’d tricked it here with a story.

Asha whistled for her pale-skinned hunting slaves as her left hand tightened on an oblong shield. With her right, she reached for the throwing axe at her hip.

The rough esparto grass rattled around her knees as the dragon circled, waiting for her to let down her guard.

That was its first mistake. Asha never let down her guard.

Its second was to blast her with flame.

 

Filed: Pitch Wars

9 Comments
Leave a reply

Disclaimer:

We’d love your comments but ask that you please keep it polite. Although your views are definitely your own, we do not condone harassment or bullying and don’t want to see it here. We reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason, including being abusive, profane or off topic.

IMPORTANT!
We're thrilled at the different ways those in our Pitch Wars community are giving back—and we encourage them to do so. However, please keep in mind that Pitch Wars is not affiliated with any of these various contests, promotions, etc., including those of our mentors and mentees. Promoting any such opportunities via our social media channels doesn't imply endorsement or affiliation. We encourage you to do your research before participating.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Please read our Privacy Policy before singing up.