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Word Paint Blogfest

Thursday, 26 August 2010  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Dawn Embers at http://dawnembers.blogspot.com is hosting the Word Paint Blogfest. Check it out and visit the other participants blogs for their entries.

Here’s my entry:

(redacted)
Thanks for visiting!

Filed: Misc

17 Comments
  • Francine says:

    Hi,

    Love it – Parallel worlds and mystic places.

    Good descriptive value here, and fits criteria for word painting: not just scenic value but that of narrator mind-set!

    best
    F

  • Summer Ross says:

    Great post. I enjoyed the read. my favorite line: “Thin streamers of silvery light hung from a crescent moon, tilting in a black sky confettied with stars.” because I like the moons description.

  • The first and last paragraphs were really descriptive. Enjoyed your Word Painting Blogfest entry.

  • Damyanti says:

    I enjoyed this.

    Maybe in a later draft you could take a look at the adjectives again, because sometimes what we leave out can be as important as what we put in…..but I love the setting!

    Good job 🙂

  • An outhouse a portal to another realm.

    Love it. Perhaps this is how angels feel about Earth and humans leaving it for the spiritual realm.

    You must write, using the words you feel right within you. I read my work aloud, getting a sense of the words and how fluid they flow or don’t.

    Thanks for the kind words on my own entry, Roland

  • Your description likening the castle buildings to grave markers really set the eerie mood. Wonderful job!

    Edge of Your Seat Romance

  • RaShelle says:

    I thought this was fantastic!!! All of it.

    My fav line was this though – “You weren’t baiting me, you truly have dodgy balance.”
    I could totally hear his say that & I have no idea what he looks like!!!

    Thanks for the read!

  • This was very intriguing – the poor girls seems out of her depth.
    I loved this sentence:
    Thin streamers of silvery light hung from a crescent moon, tilting in a black sky confettied with stars.
    It had a feeling of parties and celebrations.

  • Postman says:

    I’m getting a lot of dark blues, greens and browns from this painting. Pretty darn good, in my opinion. As a teleportation-machine, your writing does well.

  • roh morgon says:

    “The gray shadow of a castle protruded from dark hillocks like a shrine. The smaller gray buildings surrounding the castle reminded me of grave markers in an eerie cemetery at night.”

    Very cool description. I could feel the stones of this place.

  • KM says:

    The door is an outhouse?! I love it! And clean writing. Great job!

  • Donna Hole says:

    This totally captured my imagination. Everything fit well, flowed foward, and gave world and character building both. I can’t wait to actually enter the realm – an outhouse, how marvelous – you’re painting in this.

    I’m already halfway transported.

    ……..dhole

  • L'Aussie says:

    Very descriptive word painting. Enjoyed the read. Some beautiful imagery..:)

  • Brenda Drake says:

    Thanks everyone for the comments. This was a fun blogfest and I’ve learned a lot from others’ writing as well as the comments given here. You all rock!

  • amy says:

    Loved the excerpt! As for descriptions, my favorite line was “I stumbled over the beginning of a rocked pathway with tangled bushes and thick grasses choking its borders.” The ‘choking its borders’ part was genius. It’s such a strong word and the combo evokes an immediate image (and reaction). Bravo!

  • Jessica Love says:

    Thanks so much for stopping by my new blog! 😀

  • Dawn Embers says:

    This has some interesting description in the beginning and a good bit of banter between characters. The MC seems like one I’d consider reading about and the locations described add to the story overall. Thanks for taking part in the blogfest.

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