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Wednesday, 13 June 2012  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 98,000

Dear Super Erica and equally Super Louise Fury,

For nearly seventeen years, Viktor Dolreck has dreamt of killing Isadora Velvet. Isolated Isadora thinks counting the days until she can move away from her Step-Step-Step-Father is her biggest concern.  That is until her bedroom is filled with people who battle over her with impossible powers.  The attack pulls her into a veiled world where she discovers a people who possess the ability to alter their surroundings and physically project almost anything with their minds.  Unfortunately, she lands smack in the middle of their centuries long race war.

If that isn’t enough to freak out a high school junior, Isadora is destined to be the most powerful of the kinder race, the Parion, and she will one day play an important role in deciding if they triumph over the black blooded Melanocent. Led by Viktor, they relentlessly hunt for her. As Isadora waits for her own powers to arrive, she reluctantly begins her training at the Compound, a heavily guarded facility where young Parion hone their skills.

Settling into this new world, (and making peace with her roommate’s purple pet raccoon…) she finds herself flustered by an unwelcome romantic attraction to a tortured boy with mysterious gray blood, bullied by an unexpected rival and the target of repeated attacks by the Melanocent. Isadora struggles with feelings of love, friendships, and a sense of family that she has never experienced before.  The clock is ticking, and when Isadora learns that her powers might never come in at all,it may be too late to save herself and the only people she has ever loved.

Combining elements of fantasy and romance, THE IMAGINING OF ISADORA VELVET, a young adult fantasy is complete at 98,000 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

250-word excerpt:

Isadora didn’t know how the mirror fell.  She had been laying quietly on the her bed in the beige room, her mind wandering a year away to when she would be able to move into an apartment of her own when it came crashing off the wall.  It now lay shattered into thousands of unfriendly looking shards on the carpet.  She knew when she heard the telltale thumping of her Step-Step-Step Father Walter’s feet on the stairs that she was in for it.  He was as equally thrilled with finding himself with sole custody of a teenage girl as she was to be in it and he never missed an opportunity to misdirect his frustrations over the situation.

When he stormed into the beige room, no knock of course, Isadora braced herself fora rant.  The vein was already visible on his forehead which was never a good sign. Nor was the fact that his hands were perched angrily on his hips.  She noted that even on Saturday, one of his days away from the office, he still had his cell phone strapped to the belt holding up his pleated Dockers.  Walter had always been the epitome of yuppie.  A closet full of polo shirts and the latest electronic devices were his calling cards.

“What did you do?” he barked at her.

She sighed.  “I didn’t do anything.  The mirror just fell.

“How could it just fall?” he snapped, his brow dipping into a deep frown.  “What were you doing?”

Filed: Contests, Misc

One Comment

    I like the start here, but it makes it sound like Viktor is the protagonist. Be careful with that. I love your voice in this and having it in a query is a difficult thing to do. There’s a lot going on. You mention several types of groups and I have to admit to getting confused by them. I would try to simplify this. I’m a big proponent of a simple query. I think there’s some good stuff in here, it just needs to be simplified.


    I don’t understand the Step-Step-Step part? Did her mom marry him three times? It reads a little strange. I’m a little confused by the mirror falling. I’m assuming that’s the beginning of the battle for power in her room? You have a great voice, but there isn’t a lot happening in this and without understanding that, it’s hard to get invested in her. Give me more about her in the beginning, even if it’s just small details, that way we can root for her against her step-step-step dad.

    Thank you for sharing your work ;o)

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