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Super Intern Contest – COVETED

Wednesday, 13 June 2012  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Genre: YA Urban fantasy
Word count: 82,000


Dear Erica,

Seventeen-year-old Caleb Dunnelly spends his weekends searching the net for clues about his parents’ disappearance. Which is why his best friend has to trick him into going out one Friday night.

The two end up at Confessions, local hotspot and—apparently—the perfect place to be ambushed. When a couple of freaks in robes set the club on fire, Caleb pulls his friend to safety, and smack into the middle of an ancient war being waged on modern streets. A group of religious radicals believes Caleb possesses powers capable of enslaving mankind, and wants him dead. He doesn’t want to ‘enslave’ anyone, but try telling that to the lunatics with the glowing swords.

While running for his life, he crosses paths with the literally explosive Scarlet, who’s fiery hot, but also eight kinds of crazy.She says he can raise the dead, which makes him a target for any number of supernatural forces, including the Seven Deadly Sins. The Sins haven’t been topside in a millennium, but they’ve crawled their way out of the pit just to pay him a visit. Between Hell’s generals and a murderous secret society, Caleb just wants to make it to Monday with his soul in tact (and possibly ask Scarlet out). But the Sins have information Caleb is willing to pay any price for: they know what happened to his family.

COVETED is a young adult urban fantasy complete at 81,000 words.

I am a published poet and a former columnist for Writer’s News Weekly. I am a member of Novel Clique, an established group of professional writers, and an Affiliate Member of the Oklahoma Writer’s Federation, Inc.


250-word excerpt:
Caleb learned long ago being friends with Martin MacMurtry required two things, inhuman patience,and a tolerance for impromptu fashion shows. The first remained a struggle, but the second he’d mastered by the fifth grade. Reloading a failed level of Angry Birds, he snickered as Martin left to change clothes for the fifth time.
“Worse than my sister. I mean, come on, we passed ridiculous twenty minutes ago.”
“Hey!” Martin’s voice carried into the living room, along with the rustle of cloth and the clatter of hangers. “There is absotively nothing wrong with taking pride in one’s appearance.”
He hiked an eyebrow, glancing up from his battle against the international pig threat. Did he just say, “Absotively?”
Caleb shook his head, turning his focus to his phone as he stretched out over an expensive-ass leather couch. Martin called it Ashley, which worried Caleb before he found out it was a brand, and not his friend naming the furniture. “What I said still stands. What, were you a runway model in another life?”
“First I’m not just changing clothes. These are strategic choices.” Martin’s words preceded his reentry, his fingers fumbling with the leather belt around a pair of three-hundred-dollar tattered jeans. “Second, your sister wishes she dressed this good.” He held out his arms and struck a pose, the kind you find in magazines where it’s clear the guy takes himself, and whatever he’s modeling, way too seriously.

Filed: Contests, Misc


    I really like the voice in this. I love the seven deadly sins angle too. This is nicely done. I’m trying to find something else to say, but you made me want to read more. So that’s really the only purpose of the query.


    This is a good 250. It’s full of voice and characterization. I usually like more of a plot start, but because the voice in this is so good, I’m in it until the plot comes up. I’d read more of this.

  • tangynt says:

    Thank you so much! I’m seriously grinning like an idiot right now. You have no idea how much of a confidence booster this is. Then again, being a writer yourself, you probably do.

    Again, the time and effort you give to go through and comment on all of these great stories is appreciated. And you’re pretty fabulous yourself! Thanks, Erica.

  • Aww, thank you!! I’m happy to do it!

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