Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

Semi-finalist #16

Sunday, 11 December 2011  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Name: Melinda Williams

My knuckles slam into the head cheerleader’s perfect nose. It feels great. Real great. Well, inside it does. My hand burns like hell.

It’s halftime, and the gym reeks of boy—sweat, bad breath, and cheap cologne. Silence drums in my ear so loud it hurts. There are hundreds of faces on the bleachers, and then there’s the basketball team. All staring. At me. Oh, God.

The fluorescent lights buzz, telling me to run, but I can’t. Not yet. Instead, I admire how the blood drips from her nostril, over her ivory skin, and soaks circles into her uniform. It looks great next to the matching red stripe crossing her chest. The white stripe matches her pale face. And the blue matches the developing bruise.

Every part of me shakes, my fist aches like broken bones, and my heart pounds hard enough to bust ribs. I’ll be in huge trouble. But who cares? I may have ruined Cambelle’s nose. Completely worth it. 

The other cheerleaders freeze—something that doesn’t happen very often. Half of them awed, half angered. Probably fake anger, though. Even her clones have got to hate her, right?

“Eeak!” Cambelle’s shock fades—my split second of glory over. She’s loud enough to crack the windows, but all she does is shake everyone back to life. Now, there is noise, and it’s even louder than silence. After another glare, I turn and bolt, my ponytail bouncing like my skirt, automatically making me appear one hundred percent peppy.

So not me.

Filed: Contests, Misc

3 Comments
  • Brenda Drake says:

    Way to start with action. I’m wondering what made her smack the head cheerleader in nose. So cool! <3

  • Melinda says:

    Thanks Brenda! Next page reveals what caused it. 😉

  • Wow, nice beginning! I didn’t see this during the blogfest. Punching the cheerleader captain…hee!

    If I may, I would suggest moving or removing the sentence “It’s halftime…cheap cologne.” I don’t see anything fundamentally wrong with it, but the first paragraph is so immediate and then this kind of takes us out of it. (my experience, at least–just thought I’d mention it)

Leave a reply

Disclaimer:

We’d love your comments but ask that you please keep it polite. Although your views are definitely your own, we do not condone harassment or bullying and don’t want to see it here. We reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason, including being abusive, profane or off topic.

IMPORTANT!
We're thrilled at the different ways those in our Pitch Wars community are giving back—and we encourage them to do so. However, please keep in mind that Pitch Wars is not affiliated with any of these various contests, promotions, etc., including those of our mentors and mentees. Promoting any such opportunities via our social media channels doesn't imply endorsement or affiliation. We encourage you to do your research before participating.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy


Check out our 2018 list of Participating Agents

Blog Archives

Blog Categories