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Semi-finalist #14

Sunday, 11 December 2011  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Name: Laura Chapman

In a few short hours, Elliot Lynch would find herself buried under a mound of work. She could hardly wait.

She was home to work for Engagements, her family’s wedding and event planning business. Her sister had run the wedding side of the business for years, and now it was her turn. Their father planned to partially retire, and her sister would step into his role. Elliot was more than willing to let her sister handle the stuffy convention halls. For her, florists, bakeries, and chapels were like a second home, and she welcomed the homecoming.

She loved it on Cape Cod. For the past decade, Elliot had been away more than she was here, and she was ready to change that. The older she got, the more she appreciated the connection to her past.

Weddings were in her blood. Her mother had been an event planner before Elliot was born. Growing up, weekends were often spent in churches and dining halls, week day afternoons at appointments with vendors. It taught her patience from an early age. Her mother expected her to be on her best behavior wherever they went, and Elliot was always eager to please.

Based on that experience, Elliot knew her life would soon be a chaotic mess of brides, caterers, florists, seamstresses, and anyone else who had a part in planning a couple’s nuptials.

Marrying off couples meant her cell phone would be her most meaningful relationship. She accepted the fact with no problem.

Filed: Contests, Misc

  • Robin Weeks says:

    This is coming along! I love the change to the first paragraph. Very cool hook.

    This definitely sounds like the kind of book I’d love to read. I’d prefer to see less telling on the first page, though. Gimme some action! SHOW me her patience and how eager to please she is. Show me her relationship with her cell phone and let someone else comment how it’s her most meaningful relationship.

    This feels like you’re trying to get the boring exposition out of the way fast so you can get to the good stuff… but if I’m bored when I get there… I might not actually get there. All of this can be seeded into the first chapter while she’s rushing around arranging flowers and assuring people that no, she doesn’t mind that big sis got the conference gig.

    Good luck!

  • Brenda Drake says:

    This sounds like a great premise. I’m certain she’s going to dump the cell phone for some guy. Maybe a guy who is off limits? Good luck! <3

  • This sounds like a really fun read! I would just suggest cutting down on the backstory–in the second paragraph in particular. (I think…you could probably just delete the middle three sentences?)

    Good luck in the final round 🙂

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