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PW #379: Young Adult Fantasy: LA DAME BLANCHE

Thursday, 2 November 2017  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Jamie Howard

Mentee Name: Shelby Mahurin


Category: Young Adult

Genre: Fantasy

Word Count: 105,000 words


For her sixteenth birthday, Louise le Blanc’s mother gave her three things—a sacrificial altar, a ritual knife, and a wicked scar. Lou’s death could end the ancient war between the Church and witches, but when she falls in love with one of the Church’s huntsmen, she’s forced to choose: her coven or her heart.


The entire city smelled of fish. Fish and smoke. Even amidst the mouth-watering smells of the festival—the frites and sausages and cheese croissants—the fishy stench lingered.

Coco moaned beside me and looked longingly at a crêpe stand through a break in the crowd. People milled around it, craning their necks to peer down the street.

I nudged her and wrinkled my nose. “Don’t bother with those. Not with Pan’s around the corner. I fancy a bun anyway.”

She grimaced at the ill-fitting suit she wore—a disguise for our latest reconnaissance. It strained in all the wrong places for a man’s body. “You know I can’t eat anything in that patisserie. My hips can’t take it.”

“Coco.” I whirled to face her, the mustache affixed to my lip dangling precariously. “You don’t eat sticky buns for your hips. You eat them for your soul.”

She rolled her eyes as the late summer wind picked up, assaulting us with the unholy stench of fish once more. Golden flags with the royal family’s crest fluttered—the only color on an otherwise dreary street.

Cesarine embodied gray. Dingy gray houses sat stacked atop one another like sardines in a tin, and crumbling streets wound past dirty gray markets and even dirtier gray harbors.

It was suffocating, the gray. Lifeless. Dull.

Still, there were worse things in life than dull. And there were worse kinds of smoke than chimney.

Filed: PW Entries

  • Elana Roth Parker says:

    Hi! I’d love to read more! Please email me at eparker [at] ldlainc [dot] com:

    * Subject line: PitchWars Submission: YOUR BOOK TITLE
    * Your query letter in the body of the email
    * The full manuscript attached as a Word document


  • Kaitlyn Johnson says:

    So excited for this! I’d love to see the full. Please send to https://querymanager.com/query/KaitlynJohnson/Contests with synopsis and PitchWars in the referral blank.

  • Would love to read!! Please send your full ms, synopsis, and query to jessica@dijkstraagency.com with #pitchwars in the sub line!

  • This sounds amazing! Please kindly send the full manuscript to hilary@ktliterary.com with “PitchWars” in the subject so I may continue reading!!


  • Hi Shelby,

    I would love to read more! Please send your query, 1-2 page synopsis, and first 100 pages (in an attached word doc.) to queries at azantianlitagency dot com with “PitchWars: TITLE by Name” in the subject line. Thanks!

    I look forward to reading on!

    Jennifer Azantian
    Azantian Literary Agency

  • Sarah Landis says:

    I would love to read this one! Please send the full ms as a word doc to slandis@sll.com

  • Quressa Robinson says:

    This sounds wonderful! I may not be the only agent here at Nelson Literary Agency who wants to read your amazing work! So, please send just one email to query@nelsonagency.com with PITCH WARS UPLOAD in the subject line. We will reply with our upload instructions, and then all the interested NLA agents will read and consider your manuscript. Thank you!”

  • I love the setting and the voice! Can’t wait to read more.I know I’m not the only agent here at Nelson Literary Agency who is excited to read this one! Please send just one email to query@nelsonagency.com with PITCH WARS UPLOAD in the subject line. We will reply with our upload instructions, and then all the interested NLA agents will read and consider your manuscript. Thank you!

  • Laura Zats says:

    I’m so excited to read this! Please send the whole MS in a Word doc to laura@redsofaliterary.com. Please include a query in the body of the email and mention Pitch Wars in the subject line!

  • Tricia Lawrence, Erin Murphy Literary says:

    I am so into this. Please send a query and the first 50 pages to tricia@emliterary.com. I can’t wait to see!

  • Hi Shelby,

    I’m already so captivated by the sample you’ve shared above! Please could you send the first 50 attached in a word document? I would really appreciate it if you would label your query REQUESTED: Pitch Wars and label the document with your last name and the title.

    Thank you so much! I can’t wait to dive in!


    Brianne Johnson
    Writers House

  • Shelby, I love this opening! Please send the first 50 pages as a Word doc or PDF attachment to melissa@rpcontent.com. Please also include your query letter in the body of the email, and Pitch Wars in the subject line.

    I look forward to reading!


    Melissa Nasson
    Rubin Pfeffer Content

  • Christa Heschke says:

    I love all things witchy and the opening grabbed me. I’d be interested to see more! Please send a query, first 50 pages and synopsis to chquery@mcintoshandotis.com. Look forward to reading!
    -Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

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