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PW #342: Young Adult Fantasy: WE ARE MULTITUDES

Friday, 4 November 2016  |  Posted by Nikki Roberti

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor: Kim Graff
Mentee: Ashley Leath
Category: Young Adult
Genre: Fantasy
Word Count: 100,000


Years ago, a girl disappeared into an impenetrable fog called the Void, and halted its growth. Now society gives the Void one volunteer a year to keep it stagnant. Mac’s convinced it’ll be him.

But it picks Mega Namura instead.

Now Mac’s falling for a girl destined to die and must decide: embrace this second chance at life, or find a way to take Mega’s place before the Void claims her.



MacCauley’s parents stood on the train platform, a colorless pair in a sea of the same. He watched them through the window of the cabin as the rest of the kids gifting their names boarded.

“Don’t be scared,” MacCauley shouted through the glass. “I’m not.”

His dad forced a smile, but his mom’s gaze darted to his tie. MacCauley’s pride flamed.

I ironed it, he mouthed.

Her lips thinned, and she fingered her pearls. God, he hated those pearls. Nothing said “over-the-mountain spoiled” like pearls.

I did, he stressed.

He couldn’t hear her response, but her tone crushed him through her piercing gaze. The way she always said his first name carried enough disappointment to cut out his heart. Arthur. ARTHUR.

The train lurched. MacCauley waved to his dad as his nerves clawed up yet another headache. He was part of an unlucky group affected by the Void-tainted air everyone breathed. His doctor once likened it to an allergy, which made his mom snort derisively. A MacCauley, allergic to the Void? Ridiculous.

MacCauley downed a pill and glimpsed his reflection in the window. He shook his head. As if he’d mar the greatest day of his life with a wrinkled tie.

Five years he’d waited for this day, and though it felt inconceivable—it felt impossible—it was here.

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