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PW #209: YA Diverse Fantasy: THE MOON THIEF

Monday, 2 November 2015  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

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Manuscript Status: 1 week delivery

Mentor Name: N.K. Traver
Mentee Name: Genevieve Angelique
Category: Young Adult
Genre: Diverse Fantasy
Word Count: 64,000


An Ojibway-inspired fairytale: Luna may have escaped a life-draining Windigo, but she was forced to leave behind the boy she loves. To save him, Luna must regain her spirit powers and a pair of wings—before the Windigo turns the one she loves into a monster.


Hide, the feather whispered.

The girl stared at the beautiful plume in her hand. Golden velvet clothed its soft body, and tiny spots speckled its tip. She pressed the feather’s curved vane against her ear. Silence. Had she imagined its soft voice? Or had someone else spoken?

Confused, she evaluated her surroundings. Moonlight peeked over the summit to the east, and tall pines spotted the rolling land in every direction. There was no one else here. She was alone.

She licked her lips. The salty taste of tears greeted her tongue. How odd. She couldn’t remember crying. No . . . she couldn’t remember anything.

Panicked, she spun in a circle. Unfamiliar land swirled around her, and the air danced intimately on her skin. She glanced down and gasped.

She was completely naked.

Fear caught in her throat. She covered her bare chest with her hands. Blood stained her skin, but she wasn’t in pain. She ran her fingers along her arms, her stomach, her legs. There were no cuts, no wounds. She twisted to check her back. A chill ran down her spine. Her skin was dirty but not injured.

As if the blood was not hers.

She tried to find a memory to explain. Blurry fragments sparkled in her mind. Their sharp edges stabbed her when she tried to understand them, but she pushed past the pain.

A knife slicing her palm; a womans cold laugh. A boys voice, sweet and dangerous: I cant let you go.


Filed: Pitch Wars

  • Leon Husock says:

    I would love to see more Native American mythology/folklore in my fantasy. I’d like to see more of this! Please send a query + the full MS to leon@lperkinsagency (with Pitch Wars in the subject line), along with a one-sentence description of your book.

  • Laura Biagi says:

    I’m super intrigued by this Ojibway-inspired fairytale–what a great premise, and I love your writing. Please send the query and full ms to LBiagi at jvnla dot com with “Pitch Wars” in the subject line. I look forward to reading!

  • Laura Zats says:

    Minnesotan and folklore geek here. This is right up my alley! Please send a query (with #pitchwars in the title) as well as the first 100 pages to laura@redsofaliterary.com!

  • Brianne Johnson says:

    Ooh, would love to read more of this. Would you send the query letter and first 50 pages in a Word doc? Thanks so much!

  • Jaida Temperly says:

    Love this! Please send the query + full manuscript to query@newleafliterary.com with the subject line, PITCH WARS – JAIDA. Looking forward to reading!

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