Manuscript Status: Finished
Mentor: Kevin Springer
Mentee: Jamie Pacton
Title: MARCO POLO & THE MAGICIAN’S RING
Word count: 40,000
Marco Polo’s travels made history, but his childhood was also full of adventure and danger. When a vengeful goddess kidnaps his aunt and cousin, 12-year-old Marco must find the Magician’s Ring, outwit a lovesick mermaid, and figure out how to use the magical power his mother left him before the goddess destroys his family, his best friend, and all of Venice.
So, I’m a liar.
Most people are— not that they’d tell you the truth.
But most people don’t know the rules of lying well.
My mother was determined I wouldn’t end up like most people.
I hear her voice in my head as my boss, Master Baker Rollo, steps into the bakery, already yelling about the day’s schedule. His mouth falls open when he sees the piles of puffy rolls, a basket of long golden loafs, and the cake shaped like a Venetian barge on the table in front of me.
“Keep it simple, Marco. Make eye contact, add some truth, and above all else, stay calm.”
Luckily, my mother taught me well.
“Marco?” Master Baker Rollo manages after a long moment. He smiles, making his eyes nearly disappear into his chubby cheeks. “How did you bake all this?”
I yawn before I answer, trying to look calm, and run a hand through my nest of dark curls. Flour cascades from my hair, sticking in the sweat on my forehead. The bakery’s hot and smells like cinnamon. All the dishes are scrubbed clean. Outside, the morning sun glints off the canals, church bells ring nine o’clock, and loud crowds stream past our windows, headed to St. Mark’s square.
Still groggy from my nap, I meet my boss’s eyes and smile. The lie practically falls off my lips.
I’d be delighted to consider this. Please send the full manuscript as a Microsoft word doc, along with your query letter (pasted in the body of the message), to brent (at) triadaus.com. Put “Pitch Wars request” in the subject line.
Marco Polo as a child? I’m in! I’m already dying to know what he REALLY did to get all that freshly baked bread! Please send the first 100 pages as a Word doc attachment to email@example.com, with the subject line “Pitch Wars Request.” Thank you and I look forward to reading more!
I love Marco Polo. And the excerpt you provided is really strong. Please send the full manuscript and a 1-2 page synopsis attached to your email as doc files to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This looks great and I’d love to see more. Could you send me a detailed synopsis (500-700 words would be wonderful) together with the full MS as a Word doc to claire at rhaliterary dot com?
Would love to read more! Please send the full manuscript and synopsis (mentioning Pitch Wars in the subject line) to email@example.com.
This looks like so much fun, and I love Marco’s voice. Could you send along the full ms as a PDF, please, with Pitch Wars and the title in the subject line, and the query in the body of the email? Thanks very much, and looking forward to reading!
I’d love to read more of this! Please send the first 50 pages attached as a word document to:
I’d like to read more! Please send the first 100 pages in Word format and a query letter to firstname.lastname@example.org, and include “Stefanie Lieberman” in the subject line of the email. Thank you!
I love this idea! How cool to read about Marco Polo’s adventures as a kid! Please send the query and full ms as a .doc or .docx file to LBiagi at jvnla dot com with “Pitch Wars” in the subject line. I look forward to reading!
Love this! Please send the query + full manuscript to email@example.com with the subject line, PITCH WARS – JAIDA. Looking forward to reading!
This sounds really interesting. I’d love to read on! Please send the first 25 pages, query and synopsis to chquery[at]mcintoshandotis[dot]com and put “Pitch Wars request” in the subject line.
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