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PW #103: Adult Epic Fantasy: GODBREAKER

Tuesday, 31 October 2017  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentors Names: Michelle Hauck and Carrie Callaghan

Mentee Name: Ian Barnes


Category: Adult

Genre: Epic Fantasy

Word Count: 109,000 words


Forty years ago, Kastien slew a false god and freed a nation. Now, his knees ache every Void-damned time it rains, and he longs to retire with his wife and comrade-in-arms, Val. But when plague ravages their home, they must attempt the impossible: kidnap a healing god. If they fail, everything they love will fall to dust and shadow. ALLOY OF LAW meets DISHONORED.


Of all the dumb stunts Kastien Roth witnessed over the years, breaking into a plague ward was … well, not even close to the top five. Top ten, certainly.

The hooded figure below dashed out of the abandoned police station at the edge of the quarantine zone. A woman, judging by the slight swell of hip and breast beneath bulky cloth. One old enough to understand the risks, but young enough to think death only happened to other people. She ran across the street and slunk through a window of the boarded-up rowhouse he perched atop.

Beside him, slender fingers absently twirled a knife hilt. Valeria Avez tucked the blade back within her sleeve, and adjusted the cloak keeping the rain from her coal-black curls and copper skin. “What do you make of our would-be smuggler, my love?” his wife asked as if reading his thoughts—which, after nearly forty years together, she probably could. “Greedy or foolish?”

Kastien scratched his jaw. Patchy black and gray stubble tugged at the leather glove he always wore over his left hand. “Can’t it be both?”

“It very likely is, but that ruins the game and then how will we pass the time?”

“I can think of a few ways.”

Val flicked him on the back of the head. Hard.

He rubbed his abused scalp, grinning, and considered her question. Greed was a given, but foolish was relative.



Filed: PW Entries

  • Sam Morgan says:

    Sounds sweet. I’d love to read more. Could you please send me the first three chapters in a .doc to smorgan at foundrymedia dot com with the subject line “Pitch Wars VI: Return of the Pitch”

  • Great tension and chemistry in this scene. I’d love to see your query in the body of an email, along with the first 50 pages of your manuscript and a synopsis (both attached). Please also include a link to this entry. You can send your materials to lauren@triadaus.com. I look forward to reading!

    ~ Lauren

  • Naomi Davis says:

    Sounds exciting! Can you please send me the first 50 pages and a full synopsis as Word .docs, with the pitch and any other relevant details you’d like me to know in the body of an email? naomi at inklingsliterary dot com. Thanks!

  • Hey Ian! I’d love to read more! Can you please send your first 50 pages to querylindsay@emeraldcityliterary.com. Please include your query in your email and Pitch Wars in the subject line.


  • Caitie Flum says:

    This looks great! I’d love to take a look.

    Please send the query in the body of the email + full manuscript as a Word attachment to querycaitie@lizadawson.com with “Pitch Wars request” in the subject.

  • Leon Husock says:

    I’d love to read more of this! Please send a query and the full manuscript along with a single-sentence description of your premise to leon@lperkinsagency.com. Thanks!

  • I’ve been excited to read and can’t wait to read more! Can you send the full to jmackenzie@nelsonagency.com

  • Rena says:

    I’d love to take a look at this full manuscript! Please send it attached as a word document to: rena (at) thedeborahharrisagency (dot) com


  • Roseanne Wells says:

    I’d love to take a look! Please use the guidelines on jdlit.com to send 30 pp (instead of the usual 20) and put #pitchwars in the subject line. I can’t wait to take a look!

    Roseanne Wells
    The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency

  • This sounds so amazing! Great pitch and opening scene— I would love to read the full ms! Please send the full manuscript to suzie@newleafliterary.com attached as a Word document with the query in the first page of the document. Put “PITCH WARS” in the subject. Please also include a dreaded synopsis if you have one. Thank you! Can’t wait to read!

  • I’m hooked! Please send the query, a brief synopsis of 1-2 pages, and the first 50 pages to: margaret@fuseliterary.com. Be sure to put PITCH WARS in the subject line. Looking forward to reading it!

  • I would love to read more! Please feel free to send the query and the manuscript as a word document to andrea@harveyklinger.com, with Pitch Wars in the subject line. Thanks!

  • Jaida Temperly says:

    Love this — please send me the full manuscript + synopsis to jtemperly@newleafliterary.com!

  • I would love to read more!

    Please send your query, 1-2 page synopsis, and first 100 pages (in an attached word doc.) to queries at azantianlitagency dot com with “PitchWars: TITLE by Name” in the subject line. Thanks!

    I look forward to reading on!

    Jennifer Azantian
    Azantian Literary Agency

  • Great voice! I love the premise–kidnapping a healing god! Great dynamic between Kastien and Val. I want to go on their adventure with them. 🙂

    Please send the full manuscript to Lynnette@theseymouragency.com, attached as a Word document with the query as the first page. Put “Pitch Wars” and your title in the subject line. Please also include a brief synopsis as a separate document. Thanks! Can’t wait to read!

    Lynnette Novak
    The Seymour Agency

  • Penelope Burns says:

    Hi Ian,

    I would absolutely love to see this! Can you send the full to penelope@gelfmaschneider.com with your query in the body of the email and PitchWars and title in the subject line? Thank you!


  • Pam Victorio says:

    Hi! I love the idea of slaying and kidnapping Gods. Please send a ‘query’ through my Query Manager and I’ll request the full through the system. http://QueryMe.Online/QueryPam

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