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Pitch Madness B-9: WINGMOM

Friday, 6 September 2013  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Genre: Women’s Fiction
Word Count: 79,000

Pitch:

When Sophie loses her almost-fiancé and dream job, she’s left with one thing: her “psychic,” aka psychotic mother. Sophie must rebuild her life with a third eye activating, chakra balancing, universe shifting wingman…or “wingmom.”

 

Excerpt:

It had to be him.

When I unearthed my cell phone from between a tampon and the tattered fortune cookie slip “Great change is in your future,” my heart sank. The word “Unknown” marred the screen.

“Hello.” I answered, pining for Carter’s voice. I hadn’t heard from him in two days. Maybe he was calling from a campus phone?

“Wanda didn’t invite me to Lulu’s wedding! Can you believe that? After everything.”

“Mom? Why are you calling me from an unknown number?”

“Because I star sixty-seven’d you. This is an emergency, and I wanted to make sure you took my call.”

“Um, okay. So why didn’t Wanda invite you to Lulu’s wedding?” I asked, exasperated. One had to wonder who the mother was in our role-reversal relationship.

“She said it would be upsetting to Lulu…and I know that’s not true because I talked to Lulu. She wanted me there.”

“Wait, how did you talk to Lulu?”

“Telepathically. She was vacationing in Lake Havasu, so she wasn’t here to talk in person.”

“I meant how did you talk to Lulu because she’s a dog. But I guess “telepathically” kinda covers both long distance and nonverbal communication. Anyway, you put Lulu up for adoption, Mom. I can understand Wanda’s concern about upsetting her.”

“That’s total crap. When I let Wanda adopt Lulu she promised me I could go to Lulu and Yoda’s wedding.”

I covered the phone as I took a big sigh. This entire thing was ludicrous, but a lifetime of my mom’s insanity had me well-versed in patience.

Filed: Pitch Madness

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