Hey, it’s Rae again! For those of you just tuning in, here’s my spiel: As writers, we all Google-stalk agents (and often editors). Come on, admit it, you do. And if you’ve done your homework – and you should have done your homework – you can probably rattle off your dream agent’s most recent sales, submission guidelines, history as an agent, favorite font, and caffeinated beverage. But did you know that agents are people, too? Quirky, nerdy, hilarious, and downright interesting people? These aren’t your standard interviews. These are about the people behind the profile pictures. The ones you would not only want championing your book, but also sitting at your coffee shop table, talking to you over something warm and delicious – caramel apple cider, if you’re me. Note: This is NOT an invitation to coffee shop stalk them in real life. Be polite. Use common sense. If I find out you have used these interviews for evil purposes, be warned – I shall find you. Enjoy!
Rae: Who would you pick to write your bio? What would it be titled? And if it were optioned to a movie, who would play you?
Maria: I’d love for my bio, Just Another Girl in a Story, to be written like a folk or fairy tale, so I’d probably choose someone like Erick Setiawan or Soman Chainani who are skilled at blending prose and magic. If optioned into a movie, I have no choice but to go with Katie Holmes as the lead actress (and hopefully the screenplay would be written by Wes Anderson).
Rae: Oh, prose and magic . . . the two best parts of your job, no doubt! What fictional academy/university/school would you most want to attend? (i.e. Starfleet Academy, Hogwarts, Jedi Academy, Camp Half-Breed, Battle School in Space, Beauxbatons, etc)
Maria: My answer to this will always be Hogwarts. I belong in the Ravenclaw tower.
Rae: So much Hogwarts love! Where are my fellow Jedi? So which fictional characters would you drag to Hogwarts to be your confidante?Enemy? Idol? Kick-butt ally?
Maria: Confidante: Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter; Enemy: Serena van der Woodesen from Gossip Girl; Idol: Olivia Dunham from Fringe; Ally: Elphaba Thropp from Wicked
Rae: Ok, that is a fantastic list. I may have to use that list for my zombie apocalypse survival team. What fictional food/beverage would you most want to try?
Maria:I’d love to have an Everlasting Gobstopper from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I imagine it’d taste the same as the Gobstoppers available for purchase, but how amazing is it that it would never disappear?
Rae: But soft! You are faced with your nemesis! You instantly grab your trusty __________? (lightsaber, everlasting gobstopper of doom, phaser, wand, mace, girly scream, katana, broadsword, etc)
Maria: I’ll have to go with wand (followed closely by sword, thanks to my love of Zelda).
Rae: All right, we need to compare gaming notes (and swords!) sometime. During this epic duel and your subsequent adventures, what song(s) would play in the soundtrack?
Maria: “Stay” by Lisa Loeb, “Weird” by Hanson, and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler.
Rae: I’m going to have the last one stuck in my head for the rest of the day now. (Resist, resist, resist, resist!) What’s your best rainy day book? Beach book?
Maria: Wicked is my go-to book when I need some cheering up, so it’s perfect for rainy days. For pure entertainment, I’m quite fond of short story collections. Anthologies of stories by different writers are great.
Rae: What is your work fuel of choice? (food-wise)
Maria: Coffee. I wouldn’t survive without it.
Rae: Hmm . . . I seem to be hearing that a lot . . . *glances at NaNo-ing writers* So, something awesome just happened (book deal, signed a client, etc). How do you celebrate?
Maria: Probably with a new Nintendo game!
Rae: I’m feeling a Mario (or Maria) Party . . . well . . . party coming on! But what about when something sucky happens? What gets you through one of these harder days?
Maria: Musicals are my guilty pleasure. A few favourites: Moulin Rouge, Grease, Grease 2, Rent, and Glee (TV).
Rae: Can we be friends, please? Who taught you the ropes (i.e. was your Jedi Master) when you were starting out as an agent?
Maria: Bree Ogden! She’s the Jack Donaghy to my Liz Lemon.
Rae: All right, lastly, what classic novel do you wish you could have represented back in the day?
Maria: Wuthering Heights is pretty close to perfect in my eyes. I’m not a huge fan of romance, but I’d love to have that type of gothic love story on my list.
Is anyone else wishing they could spend a rainy day with Maria playing Legend of Zelda? (Remember what I said above? NO STALKING.) If Maria sounds like your kind of agent, do your homework, and send her some amazing queries! Thanks so much for stopping by, Maria, and may the queries ever contain exactly what you are seeking!