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Day 7 (Part 3) of the Pitch Wars Mentor Workshops with Rebecca Enzor

Sunday, 1 September 2019  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Welcome to the Pitch Wars Workshops with some of our amazing past and 2019 mentors. From a lottery drawing, we selected writers to receive a query or first page critique from one of our mentors. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or first page from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting some of the critiques leading up to the submission window. Our hope is that these samples will help you all get an idea on how to shine up your query and first page.

We appreciate our mentors for giving their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. Our comments are set to moderate, and we will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones before approving them.

Next up we have …

Pitch Wars Mentor, Rebecca Enzor … 

Rebecca Enzor is a fantasy author and analytical chemist in Charleston, SC, where she lives with her husband, two dogs, three cats, and sometimes chickens. Her articles on writing science in science fiction can be found in “Putting the Science in Fiction” from Writer’s Digest Books. Obsessed with everything ocean, she studied fisheries biology in college and electrocuted herself collecting fish in a river, which inspired several key scenes in her debut novel. Speak the Ocean, a Blackfish meets The Little Mermaid retelling, was published by Reuts in July 2019. She’s represented by Eric Smith of P.S. Literary.

Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

Rebecca’s latest release …

For Mer handler Finn Jarvis, the feral mermaid performers at Oceanica Marine Park are nothing more than ruthless aquatic predators, violent and unpredictable. That doesn’t stop the public from flocking to one of the world’s most popular tourist attractions. To them, the Mer are magical entertainment, too beautiful to be dangerous. They don’t see what happens to the ones who dare swim out of line. Newly caught Erie doesn’t know what the evil landfolk want from her. Alone and voiceless, she watches the other merfolk from the confines of her tank. Broken into submission, they’ve become shells of the once vibrant creatures she knew. But Erie refuses to be subjugated. She’ll get the crowds to see her as something more than simple entertainment—starting with her captor, Finn.While Finn trains Erie in her routine, she secretly teaches herself the air-words he and the other trainers speak. And when the language barrier falls, Finn starts to realize that the gap between human and Mer is smaller than he thought, and maybe it’s not the Mer who are monsters, after all.Set against the backdrop of a familiar and beloved fairy tale, this stunning debut, as brutal as it is beautiful, explores the morality of subjugating other species to the whims of entertainment, daring readers to find humanity in the inhuman.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound

Filed: Workshops

One Comment
  • Bridget says:

    Starting with the second line gives the beginning a powerful start. I’d definitely do it.

    A correction: prophesy (verb) should be prophecy (noun)

    I enjoyed the piece. Nice.

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