Title: WINNING BACK THE LOSER
Genre: YA Contemporary
Word Count: 65,000
Query:
Sixteen-year-old ward of the state, Lulu Meriwether, has always believed she’s a victim of chance. And ending up at O’Dell High, a former all boys’ Catholic school that has just opened its doors to girls is no exception.
Lulu feels lost in a sea of testosterone until she finds her niche in life: expert heart-breaker. After a string of boyfriends, she finds herself falling for Micah, a Jewish boy and odd-kid-out, like her. Unable to admit just how deeply she feels for him, Lulu dumps him, too. The only problem is she’s the one feeling heartbroken.
Realizing her life is more about choice than chance, Lulu tracks down all the boys she’s dumped to ask for forgiveness. And as she confronts her past, she finds she doesn’t know squat about her exes, like how the captain of the chess team is also a black belt in karate or how the all-star basketball player has a passion for baking. With the help of her former flames, and their unique talents, Lulu puts on the biggest spectacle O’Dell High has ever seen in order to win Micah back—but she wonders if her personal changes are enough to give him a change of heart.
Excerpt:
Only advanced journalism team members, a.k.a. the seniors, get to work on O’Dell High’s morning news crew. So, being a junior, it should feel kind of exciting to be in here, like I have a VIP backstage pass. But I’m not running around fixing the lighting or fidgeting with the massive cameras like the other students around me.
In fact, I’m too keyed up to do much more than stare down at the U-shaped table I sit behind. It looks almost exactly like the one on Channel Ten News, the station anchor Carter Phillips reports on. Since my foster father went to college with him, I think he feels obligated to tune in. Obligated is precisely how I feel today, thanks to my big mouth. I place my hand on the table’s fake wood print and run my fingers over the smooth edges.
I’m about to be on the school news, though not as a younger reincarnation of the great Carter Phillips, destined to lead the future of broadcasting, or anything. No, that would be the person I feel obligated to, my ex-boyfriend, Ted. He sits beside me in the black suit with his blond hair parted neatly to one side.
He looks dressed for a funeral, and sort of is, because after this interview I’ll be mourning the death of what little social life I had to begin with. If that’s what it takes to get Micah back, though, it’s more than worth it.
I’m proud of you, my friend! You know I just love WINNING BACK THE LOSER!! <3
And I’m so happy Brenda loved it too.
Go Holly! You know I’m a fan. 🙂
Awww! This just sounds like so much fun!!
I’m immediately sucked in by your MC in the opening. Well done!
Good luck!
I remember this from before the teams were picked and I still love it! Love the title too. Good luck!
I love the idea of a girl heartbreaker! And I love YA contemp! Great job and good luck 🙂
This looks like a lot of fun 😀
I LOVE your MC’s name. I don’t know why, but it really sticks with me, and the line about being lost in a sea of testosterone is great.
This is my favorite kind of YA Contemp. I LOVE this concept – both the query and first page have me hooked SO much! Good luck!
The hook in this is just awesome – it looks like such a sassy, compelling book!
LOVE this!! Love the concept. I want to read it!!! Great writing too.
Can I be lost in a sea of testosterone please? LOL Good luck!
Hahaha I love the image of being lost in a sea of testosterone. And that she identifies with Micah, who’s his own fish out of water in a way. <3
Good luck!
Fabulous concept, and such a great voice in the beginning! You definitely left me wanting to read more.
I love how you reordered the first page! It really jumps starts the story & hooks me in. Great job & good luck!
Reading this query (particularly the last paragraph) left me smiling. This sounds great!
Of course, coming from you, I expect awesome, and this is definitely some awe inspiring stuff. (And I love her name, too.) Since you don’t need luck: best of the success that you deserve.
Great concept and awesome voice! Good luck!
Ooooh – the heart breaker ends up with her own heart broken. What’s not to love about this whole idea? Enlisting exes to win back the boy she dumped but really loves? LOVE it!
Such a fun premise. I like your MC already – issues and all. She’s perfect to center a book around. Good luck to you in the contest! This is very good!
I remember this from the premise, and I loved it- still do! Good luck!
This looks great!! Good luck in the contest!
I vote for you!
I vote for you!
I vote for you!
I vote for you too!!
I vote for you!
#5 WINNING BACK THE LOSER
Query:
I think that you have a strong hook here for a contemporary, both in the girl-at-a-boys’-high-school angle and the High Fidelity-esque survey of exes (but from a girl’s perspective) angle. Great concept!
Nits: I’d lose the commas around “Lulu Meriwether” in the first sentence, and add a comma after “girls” in the second.
First page:
This scene seems to promise some comedy (or at least some awkwardness), but I’m a little surprised that in the opening scene she’s already trying to win Micah back. Based on the query, I figured she’d meet, date, and dump him over the first few chapters of the story. But if that’s not the case, then that means that about half of your query is backstory, which really is too much; I think that backstory should be dispensed with in a sentence or two and the rest of the query spent on what actually happens in your book. So if what you describe in the last paragraph of your query is actually what happens in the book, you may want to refocus your query on it.