Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

PW #330: Young Adult Contemporary #ownvoices Puerto Rican-Korean: EMPTY GIFTS

Thursday, 2 November 2017  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Manuscript Status: One-month delivery

Mentor Name: Joy McCullough

Mentee Name: Ipuna Estavillo Black

Title: EMPTY GIFTS

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Contemporary #ownvoices Puerto Rican-Korean

Word Count: 80,000 words

Pitch:

Blaming himself for his brother’s death, Tristan Sanchez drinks to forget and quits the soccer team. But if Tristan doesn’t pull it together, Mamá’s moving them back to Puerto Rico. One soccer tournament could turn things around. But the girlfriend Tristan shoved away is in danger and Tristan will have to bail on his chance at a scholarship to help her. It’s Mamá or Sarang—either way he’ll lose someone else he loves.

Excerpt:

I peered at Mateo, in his Captain Underpants pajamas and soccer shin guards, his breath rising and falling, sweet like candy. But the room was sour. When was the last time he washed his shin guards?

I ducked under Mateo’s bed and exchanged my box for his shoebox filled with grass and slipped out of our room.

In the dark, I closed our door and jumped at the sound of keys. “Just get home from work?” I whispered.

Mamá gasped. “Ay Dios.” Her eyes zeroed in on the box in my hands. Her face went white. “Three Kings Day.”

“I got it covered.” The gift I’d left from the three kings would help Mateo be the best eight-year-old soccer player in Las Vegas.

“Oh, mijo. Did you spend a lot? Been working extra shifts. Meant to grab something for Mateo and you…” Mamá sighed.

“Ma, it wasn’t much.” I lied. “And don’t worry about me. I’m sixteen—past the stage of believing.” I also knew Ma didn’t have the money.

“Tristan, sometimes you act old. You don’t have to play his pa. I can handle both,” Ma placed her hand on mine.

“I played a king. Would never play Papá.” The word Papá shot a ball of fury straight from my brain to my heart. A coward who walked out on his family deserved to be forgotten.

Filed: PW Entries

5 Comments
  • I’d love to read more when you’re ready. Please send your query in the body of an email, along with the full manuscript and a synopsis (both attached). Please also include a link to this entry. You can send your materials to lauren@triadaus.com. I look forward to reading!

    ~Lauren

  • Penny Moore says:

    Hi Ipuna,

    I’d love to read more! Please email me at penny[at]empireliterary[dot]com. Please put Pitch Wars and your book title in the subject line and attach your full manuscript! Thanks! Looking forward to reading!

    Best,
    Penny

  • Caitie Flum says:

    This looks great! It I’d love to take a look.

    Please send the query in the body of the email + full manuscript as a Word attachment to querycaitie@lizadawson.com with “Pitch Wars request” in the subject.

  • Rena Rossner says:

    Wow! I love this voice! I would absolutely love to read this! Please send the full manuscript attached as a word document to: rena@thedeborahharrisagency.com

    – Rena

  • Brothers, soccer – you had me at hello. I’ve been looking for a great brother story. I love the voice here and would love to read more. Please send an email to query@nelsonagency.com with PITCH WARS UPLOAD in the subject line. We will reply with our upload instructions. Thank you!

IMPORTANT!
We're thrilled at the different ways those in our Pitch Wars community are giving back—and we encourage them to do so. However, please keep in mind that Pitch Wars is not affiliated with any of these various contests, promotions, etc., including those of our mentors and mentees. Promoting any such opportunities via our social media channels doesn't imply endorsement or affiliation. We encourage you to do your research before participating.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy

Pitch Wars 2021

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.