Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

PW #311: Young Adult Humorous Suspense: YOUR SECRET’S NOT SAFE WITH ME

Thursday, 2 November 2017  |  Posted by Brenda

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Names: Kristin Smith and Beth Ellyn Summer

Mentee Name: Michelle Mason

Title: YOUR SECRET’S NOT SAFE WITH ME

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Humorous Suspense

Word Count: 70,000 words

Pitch:

Seventeen-year-old Dora Lockhart isn’t being literal when she threatens via text to bury the babysitter. It’s just epically bad timing the babysitter gets murdered—with Dora’s fishing knife—ten minutes later. Now Dora must dispose of the body or face a murder charge.

So … the downstairs freezer seems about the right size.

“Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” meets KILL THE BOY BAND.

Excerpt:

I spotted the pebble a second before my skate would’ve hit it, swerving just in time to avoid a splatter of fries, ice cream, and humiliation in the drive-thru lane. Thankfully, my tray suffered no ill effects from the close call, a small miracle considering it was loaded with five pounds of grease and sugar. Rolling up to the driver’s side of car twelve, I used my toe stop to execute a flourish. I cocked my hip—part of Cosmic Diner’s server training—and waited in the sticky June afternoon heat for the driver to lower the window.

My glasses had slid down my nose during my evasive maneuver, so I adjusted them with my free hand as I glanced at the receipt. The window began to open, but I didn’t look up before I spoke. “That’ll be—”

“If it isn’t Dora the Explorer.”

Carter. And my last day before vacation had been going so well. Talk about raining on my campfire.

I straightened, positioning the tray so the food shielded me. “You got a new car,” I accused.

Because if I’d connected the metallic red Audi to Carter, I’d have sent Sophie or another server over here.

He’s not worth it. He’ll go away if you ignore him.

If only the Cosmic Diner handbook said we reserved the right to refuse service to exes, I’d be golden.

Filed: PW Entries

11 Comments
Leave a reply

Disclaimer:

We’d love your comments but ask that you please keep it polite. Although your views are definitely your own, we do not condone harassment or bullying and don’t want to see it here. We reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason, including being abusive, profane or off topic.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.