PW #206: Middle Grade Contemporary Fantasy: THE DREAMON

Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Laurie Dennison

Mentee Name: Ellie Firestone


Category: Middle Grade

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy

Word Count: 61,000 words


Trapped in a nightmare by a soul-scarfing demon, thirteen-year-old Lucy must team up with the Reachers — a group of dream-hopping commandos — to escape within seven days. If they fail, Lucy’s soul becomes the demon’s lunch.


School started five minutes ago.

My legs pumped faster than the Roadrunner’s, my bike tires squealing as I took a corner right on the edge. The wind tangled my brown hair around my face and backpack straps.

‘Fashionably late’ didn’t cut it. More like here’s-your-seat-in-detention late. Oh-my-gosh-Lucy-you-need-to-get-your-life-together late.

A black lab bounded out of the bushes. I squeezed the brakes so hard I almost flipped the bike over. The dog whooshed past, inches away from my front tire.

It didn’t see the red Chevy coming down the other side of the street. My heart leaped into my throat. “Watch out!”

I looked away a split second before the car hit. Thud. The dog’s terrified yelp tore at my chest. The Chevy gunned its engine and faded away.

“No,” I whispered. The concrete swam as tears stung my eyes. Stupid dog. Stupid driver. Hardly anyone ever drove down this street.

I looked up at the spot where the car had hit, imagining blood, death …

There was nothing there.

I dropped my bike and crouched, running my hands over the clean concrete. Impossible. I’d heard the car make contact. Even if the dog got away, there should be a spot of blood, a tuft of hair – some sign it had been there.


I spun towards the sound. A black dog sniffed the back wheel of my bike.

My palms tingled. It had to be a different dog. The only other explanation could be me going crazy. Hallucinating.

The dog looked up at me and wagged its tail. I stretched my hand out, trembling.

2 comments to PW #206: Middle Grade Contemporary Fantasy: THE DREAMON

  • Danielle Burby

    I’d love to take a look at this! Please email me at and include the first twenty pages of your manuscript in the body of the email along with a one-page query letter. In the subject line, write REQUESTED QUERY (PitchWars) and the title of your project. This will help ensure that your query isn’t accidentally deleted or caught in our spam filter. I look forward to reading!

  • Ellie, I would love to read more of this! Please send the first 50 pages as a Word doc or PDF attachment to Please also include your query letter in the body of the email, and Pitch Wars in the subject line.

    I look forward to reading!


    Melissa Nasson
    Rubin Pfeffer Content

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>




six + 13 =