Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

PW #127: Adult Science Fiction: ERGO SUM

Wednesday, 2 November 2016  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

MANUSCRIPT STATUS: Finished

Mentors: Dan Koboldt and Michael Mammay
Mentee: Elise Bungo
Title: ERGO SUM
Category/Genre: Adult Science Fiction
Word Count: 99,000

Pitch:

Ethan Ogden, a robotics prodigy suffering from PTSD, returns to Africa to work for a company with dubious motives. After an experimental nanotechnology treatment saves his life, he begins to question his own thoughts—and whether he’s still human—as he races to stop a civil war.

Excerpt:

Sound always disappears first. I know the flight attendant’s said something, but by now I can’t even see her.

All I can see is the first child who tried to kill me. The girl’s drugged out of her mind as her weapon levels on my chest. I hold up my hands to show I’m unarmed. I beg in a frantic mix of pidgin French and Swahili, but she doesn’t hear. Her voice is shrill with panicked bravery, its pattern echoing the percussion of the AK-47s.

“Please,” I whisper, but the sound sticks in my fear-swollen throat.

She staggers, and her weapon sags. Blood blossoms from her chest, dousing the faded rainbow printed across her T-shirt in a final monochromatic red.

The flight attendant wrests away the empty glass. A dull ring floods my ears, and the silver sparks of memory drift away. It’s hard to breathe, but I refuse to gulp air like a lunatic. 

“We’re landing soon,” she says. Her accent is pleasant but clipped—German, not South African. She points at the seat, and I raise it dutifully, as if the three-inch recline could make a damn bit of difference to our landing.

I wonder what I looked like to that child in those last seconds before Christian blew a hole through her heart—a man, a boy, or some sort of cocaine and gunpowder chimera…

I swore I’d never go back. But that was then, before I’d exhausted every option.

 

Filed: Pitch Wars

5 Comments
  • Leon says:

    I’d like to see more! Please send me your full query and the first 15 pages with Pitch Wars in the subject line.

  • Laura Zats says:

    I love this! Please send a query and the entire MS in a word doc to laura [at] redsofaliterary.com!

  • Lisa Rodgers says:

    I’d love to take a look! Can you send along the query (pasted into the body of the email) and the full manuscript (attached as a .doc) when you have a moment to querylisa [at] awfulagent [dot] com? Also, please include Pitch Wars and the title in the subject line. Thanks!

  • Roseanne Wells says:

    Hi Elise–I’d love to take a look! Please send the manuscript and a synopsis as Word doc attachments to queryroseanne@gmail.com. Look forward to reading!

    Roseanne Wells
    The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency

  • I’d love take a look at the full manuscript. Please feel free to send it along as a word document to andrea [at] harveyklinger.com with “PitchWars Requested Manuscript” in the subject line. Thanks! I’m looking forward to reading.
    best,
    Andrea Somberg
    Harvey Klinger Inc.

IMPORTANT!
We're thrilled at the different ways those in our Pitch Wars community are giving back—and we encourage them to do so. However, please keep in mind that Pitch Wars is not affiliated with any of these various contests, promotions, etc., including those of our mentors and mentees. Promoting any such opportunities via our social media channels doesn't imply endorsement or affiliation. We encourage you to do your research before participating.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy

Pitch Wars 2021

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.