Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Blog

49. THINGS WE CAN’T SEE – Young Adult Contemporary

Monday, 3 November 2014  |  Posted by Brenda Drake

Assorted_Uzi_Water_Guns_lgMentor Name: Stephanie Scott

Mentee Name: Dawn Norman

Title: THINGS WE CAN’T SEE

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Contemporary

Word Count: 63k

Pitch:

When 16-year-old Penny is the sole witness to a plane crash in the California mountains, her search for answers leads to another mystery: who caused the death of her washed-up Riot Girl neighbor? Clues point to Penny’s new boyfriend. Only uncovering his secrets means risking their lives from money-hungry crash scavengers.

Excerpt:

She wears a satin shift with skinny lingerie straps. The gown is deep blue and riddled with darker spots where liquid has spilled and dried. Despite the heat she is wearing a cardigan, tissue-thin and drooping in pale peach.

“Where is he?” she cries, her hack bleach job following stiffly as she looks up the street.

“Who?” Till she beckoned, I was loitering on the hot sidewalk of this dull new neighborhood, pretending to mind my own business.

“The driver,” she says. “Fucking UPS. I’ve got deliveries, man.” She looks me up and down. “What’s your name?” she asks me. Then, “You’re not Hispanic. Are you? Korean?”

“Hawaiian,” I say. “Half. My name’s Penny. It means ‘pineapple’ in Hawaiian.”

I could make claim to a couple of ethnic backgrounds, but this is the one I like. It mostly matches how I look, the shallow curves and the extra-solid width. What I really am is a California girl.

Empty cardboard boxes are scattered by her door. “Did you just move in?” I ask. “I did, for the summer. My mom rents the house at the end of the street.” Two guitar cases lean on the wall in the entryway behind her. The sudden possibility of fun brightens the whole stretch of summer ahead. “Are you a musician?”

She huffs a short sigh, squints at this big dumb girl on her doorstep. “You don’t know who I am, is that it? I’m Sadie Rocks.”

Filed: Pitch Wars

Leave a reply

Disclaimer:

We’d love your comments but ask that you please keep it polite. Although your views are definitely your own, we do not condone harassment or bullying and don’t want to see it here. We reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason, including being abusive, profane or off topic.

IMPORTANT!
We're thrilled at the different ways those in our Pitch Wars community are giving back—and we encourage them to do so. However, please keep in mind that Pitch Wars is not affiliated with any of these various contests, promotions, etc., including those of our mentors and mentees. Promoting any such opportunities via our social media channels doesn't imply endorsement or affiliation. We encourage you to do your research before participating.

Pitch Wars takes a stand. ANTI-BULLYING. Click here to review our policy


Check out our 2018 list of Participating Agents

Pitch Wars 2018

Blog Archives

Blog Categories

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Please read our Privacy Policy before singing up.